Life in the Darkest
by CynicalYoungster
Summary: The names where change but this story holds true. Like many other teenagers, my Cousin 'Isabel' lived through all of this and so much more. This is a true story in how she lived day by day with Schizophrenia.


18

Rebecca Bazzell

English

5.15.15

Life at the Darkest Time

Chapter 1

The rain was falling quietly on the ground that day in late October the wind pushing my bangs from my face. I took a step towards the edge of the cliff near bye Newport High School in Bellevue, Washington. Where Jackson, Symphonie and I are juniors this year. Jackson, Symphonie and I have known each other our entire life. We have always been friends, I don't remember a day it wasn't us against the world.

Standing on that cliff, the smell of nature surrounding me made my soul sore, and my heart feel calm. It was early in the morning. Symphonie and Jackson always pick me up for school, but before, we come to this same spot every morning to unwind before the stress of the day begins. Symphonie was dangling her feet off the edge of the cliff playing with her light blonde hair. I loved her hair so much. She looks like a fallen Angel just looking for mischief! Jackson was laying down on a patch of thick grass in his dark Slytherin hoodie looking up at the grey cloudy sky. A smirk entered his lips and I wondered what he was thinking about. As I watch the wind catches his messy black mop of hair, I slowly turn away from my friends. I spread my arms open to the sky and wonder what it would be like to fly. The bell rings in the distance. "Come on guys we're going to be late for class again." I say in the most monotone voice. Turning away reluctantly, I grab my backpack and headed back to the car. I took one last glance at the spot where I was standing. It wasn't much, just a cliff with an abandoned church nearby. From inside the church you could look over the cliff to a small river. In the church were old broken windows and dusty brown pews, but it was quiet and it was safe. Moving my dirty sneakers faster, I finally caught up with my friends as we all piled into Symphonie's old red pickup truck. Symphonie was driving, so I had to sit in the middle, Jackson on my right. Jackson reaches toward the radio and soon he flipped to The Point where Meg Myers song blared through the speakers with tremendous bass. Jackson tapping his fingers against the window to the beat, Symphonie slowly began to sing and I soon follow. "Your tears taste like vinegar and blood/ and these conversations choke us till we are numb/ sorry I lost our love/ sorry I lost our love/ without a reason why."

After some time we arrived at school. Parking her car in the front Symphonie hopped out as Jackson and I followed her pursuit to the large gray building. I've always tried to follow in her footsteps, as she led millions of men to their deaths, a goddess unaware of her own beauty. Symphonies small black lettered tattoo peeking out on her shoulder with every step, "Don't lose yourself looking for someone that may not exist" I read. I rub my hands over my tiered face trying to suppress all the echoes in my mind. Jackson notices and grabbed my hand away from my face quickly, "It's okay, we don't want to be here anymore then you but at least we can suffer together." He said to me with a smile. "Bye babes" Symphonie told us as she walked her way to English class. Jackson and I turn and start towards our class. "Great now only seven more hours then we'll be home free" I mumbled under my breath Jackson laughed at me and tamed my black hair with the back of his hand. I shot a death stare his way. As we sat down the teacher began to preach and I pretended to take notes. I was drawing a fairy with broken wings in my notebook. When I start to faintly smell smoke. I poked Jackson to get his attention. He looked at me from the corner of his eye and mouthed, "What?" "Do you smell smoke?" I whispered to him. "Ms. Blake there's no talking in my class." Mrs. Robinson snapped. She walked towards my desk, continued to scold me, as I tried hiding my note book from her view. She was standing over me now, looked down to see my drawings. Taking my notebook she ordered me to go to the hall. With all eyes of the class on me, I got up from my seat and scurried quickly out the door! Wow can this day get any worse? It's only first hour! I'm just going to go home, I think to myself as I head for the nearest exit. It's an open campus how much trouble can I really get in? As I started walking to the nearest exit.

I began to smell the strong cigarette smoke and having my curiosity get the best of me, I follow the smell down the staircases. To my surprise, I see a boy standing in the corner. As he takes a long drag, he looks up from where he was standing, tilts his head, takes the cigarette from his lips, and smiles at me. His presence seemed familiar but I couldn't remember where from, maybe I have seen him around in the halls. He put on his green army jacket, put out the cigarette on the wall next to him and said "Angels will find work for idle hands to do." At the time it sounded more like a quote, but I didn't understand why he would be saying it now. "Excuse me?" I asked him feeling very confused that he would even talk to me or who he even was. I was basically invisible to everyone other than Jackson and sometimes Symphonie, so who was he? And who ever this guy is, why is he talking to me? He began to gracefully walk down the hallway getting further away from me and all of my questions. I stood there immobile, like a statue, debating whether or not I should follow him or just go home. Before I can make up my mind, he turned around and held out his hand to me, "Are you just going to stand there or are you going to come with me?" His voice was very raspy like it had years of worn and torn damage but he couldn't have been more than eighteen. He wasn't beautiful, but he wasn't ugly. His eyes were filled or something unknown that I couldn't quite place exactly. There was something different about him like he came from another planet looking for destruction, he followed his desires and came up with nothing. Blinking my eyes to make sure I wasn't hallucinating, I push my bangs behind my ear and took his hand gingerly.

Chapter 2

By the time we left the school it was pouring outside. The mysterious guy I had met only minutes before finally let go of my hand leaving red indents where his fingers once held tightly around my wrist. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his worn black jeans and stared at the ground, his black hair covering part of his porcelain face. I was beginning to regret my decision to follow this guy. Even though I was curious about his being. "Don't be afraid darling I won't hurt you" he said in the most cynical voice I had ever heard. In that moment his beautiful golden eyes turn black, entirely black. I shook my head and looked up at him again, this time they were golden with a hint of green. That's what made him beautiful his mysterious eyes. I began to walk with him and the more we walked the more my trust grew. I guess he had seen me shivering, because he took off his jacket and placed it over my shoulders. It smelled of cigarettes and mints. I said, "Thank you." The words "No problem darling" rang in my ears as they rolled of his tongue like knives. He kept his head down and starts walking beside me, matching my paces. I felt upset for some reason but couldn't pinpoint why. Maybe it was because I wanted to see his eyes again how they felt when he would stare at me as we walked. It was like he was living in a different world and I was just observing from far away above him. My anger increased more as we talked and he pulled out another cigarette impressed it between his fingers and then touched his lips. It was in that moment I realized my anger was misguided and pointless. I didn't want the thin white stick to touch his lips and eventually fill his lungs with poisonous smoke because what if I never got to see this beautiful creature again due to that one white stick he possessed between his middle and pointer finger. I just met him, but, I want him to hurt himself like that. The more I thought and pondered about my feelings, the more confused and disgusted, I felt with myself. I tried distracting myself by looking at the surroundings and counting my steps as we walked. We were heading east towards a residential area in town, where there were big houses and loud dogs that I didn't much care for.

"So, what's your name darling?" he asked me with his nails on chalk board voice. Now his entire shirt drenched in the rain, and I could clearly see his captive golden eyes. . "My name is Isobel Blake." I responded. I don't recall how exactly I managed to ask him without stuttering but I asked him for his name. "Fire." he answered looking at the street intently "Is that a nickname?" I said in the questioning voice. "No," he answered in a firm displeasing tone. "It's the name on my birth certificate!" He looked back at me with a scowl on his face. If his name was actually Fire, then all I could think about was burning my lips. "That's a cool name, unique." I said to him while starring at the ground as I spotted his fallen cigarette next to his red and black sneakers. Still burning on the wet pavement. "Yeah my parents have a weird sense of humor I guess." His voice was next to my ear suddenly and I looked up to him, almost hovering over my shoulders. His fingers found their way to the collar of his jacket, and then to my chin and pull my face up close to his. His arms were laced with tattoos almost like a secret art that only he knew the answers to, with symbols and designs secret to him. He stared at me for a brief moment and then chuckled under his breath. "What?" I questioned him for his laughter, feeling very self-conscious. "It's nothing. I just thought you were one of … never mind." He side raked his fingers through his black hair. "One of who" I asked in a high-pitched girly voice. A blanket of confusion covering my mind "It doesn't matter, darling." He gave me a crooked smile and for a minute I forgot how to breathe. Turning away, he started to walk away from me, but just as I was about to move in his direction. He abruptly turned back around and I saw a frown appear on his more than perfect face. I hate myself for making him sad, but I don't know what I did to deserve this frown. I would lose everything just to see that smile, yet, I don't know why. I just met him less than two hours ago but something about him made me thirst for more. He was the first guy other than Jackson that talked to me in years that honestly cared. He turned to me and said, "Go home Isobel, but keep the jacket and stay safe. I will be seeing you around." his voice was commanding like a big brother but as soft as if he was frightened to tell me what to do. I was far too late for that, It was terrified with excitement like the feeling you get when you're standing on top of the building, on the edge of a cliff, or in a roller coaster and you have the impulse to take a step forward but you know you can't because the alternative would mean death. Biting my lip, I open my mouth about to change his instructions for me. When my phone rings, quickly I search in my pocket, I pull out my thin silver phone that my father had given me two years before. Cursing under my breath, I see my aunt's name on the caller ID. I answer the call in a welcoming manner but she answers with anger. "Yes, I'm okay, I left because the teacher, okay, okay, sorry." after she finished scolding me for cutting school and grounding me for life, she told me to hurry home. I look up to see that Fire had gone. Checking my phone once again I begin my long walk home, but before I get all the way home I make a pit stop and relax a while at the old church by the cliff, because why not I'm already in trouble what more can I get into. I finally get home at 6:15 as the sun is setting. Taking off Fire's green jacket before I go in the door I put it inside my backpack to avoid further questioning. The rain is lighter now almost a light drizzle. I slowly walked towards my house thinking about how stupid I am and the bad decisions I can't seem to stop making but the one thing that won't leave my mind is, Fire. I'm pathetic I mumbled under my breath. I'm a confused little child. I thought to myself as I let my mind wonder. If you don't watch out I can destroy you and then destroy myself and everything around you. My thoughts continued wandered aimlessly as I walked through the door.

Chapter 3

'I was running the ground beneath my bare feet was covered in fallen leaves, thorns pierced my feet with each step, causing a painful sensation that made me grasp. My heart was racing, I didn't know where I was going, and I knew I had to move faster. The trees surrounding me, seemed to blur passed, cloudy visions of tears distracted me. 'Snap, Snap,' hearing footsteps behind me. Fear enabled me to move faster. "Wait" a voice screamed. I couldn't tell if the voice belong to a man or woman. Breathing heavy, I quickly turned left and push sharp branches away from my face. Then, all at once I stopped dead in my tracks. I was standing on the edge of the cliff. The old abounded church with broken pews was on my right. "I thought I told you to wait!" The voice made the hair on my neck stand up, I was too terrified to move as a hand reached out towards me. I screamed at the top of my lungs taking a step backwards, I begin to fell into the nothing below, with nothing to support me, my arms sprawled out in front of me as I begin to fall backwards, hands grabbed my arms before I can fall completely into the dark unknown below. "Next time listen to me or I'll kill you myself!" my eyes can see the face of the person who terrified me and then saved my life, shadows covering their face, but I will always remember those eyes.' 'Beep, Beep' my eyes snap open. The noise of the alarm clock awakens me from the disturbing nightmare. Quickly jumping out of my bed. I placed my hand over my neck to take my pulse. My heart was pounding heavily. I've had nightmares like this every night for the last week. My aunt walked in, "Isobel, get up it's almost eight and don't forget-"she stopped in midsentence when she finally looked up at me. "Baby, what's wrong" she asked me concern lacing her voice. Shaking my head I looked down at my trembling hands. I had a bad dream my voice cracked at the word dream. Aunt Faye sat down on the bed next to me. "Baby, I'm sorry, do you want to talk about it, is the medicine helping?" she asked. I shook my head "no." as she hugs me around my neck. The smells of vanilla and pancakes fill my nose as I smile at the familiar sent that brings me comfort. "No, it's okay." I mumbled into her shoulder. "Okay baby you can tell me anything but you better get going before you are late to class again, you can invite Symphonie over after school today if you would like!" I giggle at her change of tone and agree with her. She releases me from her hug and left for work. She works at the local hospital as a nurse assistant. I get up from my comfortable bed to get ready for school; my reflection in the mirror makes me jump. My hair is crazy, my eyes wide, with dark circles around them. I look away from the confused girl that I see in the mirror, brush my hair, and pick out my favorite pair of black jeans with a long black and gray shirt and oversize Flannel. I pull my hair into a messy bun; grab my glasses, my book bag and an apple for lunch.

I arrive at school just in time for my class. Signing under my breath I walk into my dreadful science class with the other students. Sitting in my desk, I look for Jackson among the tired but talkative students. I look around the room anxiously thinking, Come on Jackson don't leave me here in this institutionalized hole they call a school by myself. Right as the bell rings Mrs. Robinson walks into class and I give up on my desperate search to find Jackson. As Mrs. Robinson begins another lecture about chemistry, I search for my book bag to take out my notebook. Opening my bag, I see the dark green jacket. Fire, his name crosses my mind and with yesterday's interaction behind me. I stop thinking about it as I moved desperately around in my bag for my notebook, this time I was actually going to take notes.

Four hours slowly passed by. Finally, it was time for lunch. As I walk towards Symphonie's locker. I see she was talking to a girl who had dark black curly hair; the girl had a smile on her red lips and light brown skin. She wore a black choker with a pentagram charm. I walk up next to them. Symphonie gives me a bright smile, "Hey, where were you yesterday, Jackson and I worried!" She gave me a small pinch and hugs me tight. I pinch her back "sorry I cut school and met this guy." I told her. "Oh, that's interesting," Symphonie said, as she puts her bag into her locker. Turns to the girl with curly black hair and said, "So, Miranda this is my best friend Isabel. Isabel this is my lab partner and concert buddy Miranda." Symphonie introduces us to each other. "Hi" I wave my hand to her awkwardly. I'm really bad at these whole social interactions. I think to myself. Miranda nods her head at me like to say, Hi, but you're not good enough for my actual words. Miranda tells Symphonie that she's leaving early and to call her later. "Sure thing cupcake!" Symphonie replies back with a laugh, Symphonie takes my hand and runs towards the cafeteria. "Let's go, I'm hungry!" she wines. I shake off my inner doubts about Miranda and laugh at Symphonie. Trying to keep up with her pulling my arm out of socket, on her quest to be the first in line.

"So, tell me about this guy you cut class with yesterday." she asked as she takes a bite of her chicken sandwich. I was looking at the cafeteria window, the raindrops falling down onto the trees looking so peaceful. As I turn my head away from the breathtaking beauty of outside I answered, "Well he's pretty intense honestly but he had these eyes that I'll never forget." I asked him for his name and he kind of got mad at me. I don't know, he just seems moody. I guess I shrugged my shoulders trying to best to answer her questions. "Maybe, he is shy or playing hard to get," Symphonie told me was a little giggle. "Yeah, maybe so, have you seen Jackson today?" I asked her trying to change the subject, because talking about Fire made me feel extremely on edge, like he was just around the corner in the dark waiting to call me darling or something. "I didn't see him today by why are you so worried?" Maybe, he just took a road trip to Las Vegas to sing with an Elvis Pressley impersonator!" Symphonie laughs so hard milk came out her nose. Jackson would've invited us to come with him if it was that awesome I laughed also. "He's fine Isabel he's probably just needed a day off or something." Symphonie reassures me. "Yeah, I guess you're right." I said pushing my bangs back behind my ear. The bell rings, signaling the end of lunch. Both of us get up and silently laugh hysterically.

I turn to Symphonie,"Hey do you want to come to my house tonight?" I asked in a quiet tone. "That's funny I was just about to ask you to come with me to a party tonight!" Symphonie says. I reply with "I'm grounded." which is true, but I'm also not a big fan of parties. Like I said before I hate human interactions. I'd rather just stay at home and watch Pretty in Pink and eat chunky monkey ice-cream. "Come on, please, sneak out or something, pretty please!" Symphonie begs me and give me the best puppy dog face she has. I reluctantly agreed to go with her. Her adorable face kills me! "Thanks' Isabel you're the best!" She said with a smile. As I walk into my fifth hour class and start to think about how horrible tonight is going to turn out.

Chapter 4

By the time my last class ended, I was half asleep on my desk; I didn't get much sleep last night because of the recurring nightmares. Just thinking about it gives me chills and makes my palms sweaty. I open my eyes to see Symphonies light figure over me. "Come on sleeping beauty wake up we have a party to get ready for!" She said her voice full of enthusiasm. I swear it looks like she was bouncing off the classroom walls. Groaning, I drag myself out of my desk and left class. Walking along side Symphonie. The sun was hiding behind a huge gray cloud. October weather left fallen leaves scattered on the ground. The air was cold but refreshing after being trapped inside the building for eight long hours. Taking off my plaid shirt, I tie it around my waist. "We're free!" Symphonie screams, starting to speed walk to her little red truck. We open the car door, get in, and began home.

"I'll pick you up around 11ish." Symphonies said in an all too cheery voice. She drops me off at my house. Picking up my backpack from the floor board of her truck, I ask one last time very hopeful, "Are you sure you don't want to just have a regular sleep over and watch movies at my place?" Trying hard to persuade her from taking me to his party with such intellectually non-advanced humans. "No-no, No-no" she throws the normal fit. "You can't take back your promised to me! There's no going back now... trust me you'll have fun!" she practically screams at me. I shake my head and shut the door. Symphonie speeds away.

I control my breathing as I walk to the door. Entering the house, I locked the door behind me and then, I go to take a shower in hopes of reliving all stress of the day. After I'm done, I change into some pajama pants and start on my tedious homework. Looking down at my science worksheet I sigh. Trying to answer the questions but after a short while I lose all motivation and back in my bag it goes. I checked my phone to see it's already five. I can take a short nap before heading out. Maybe if I fall asleep I won't have to go to the party that idea brings me comfort but then again I think about the promise I made to Symphonie. Lying in my bed, I slowly drift off listening to slow sad songs. When I wake up again it's ten at night I grab something to eat even though my mind tells me not to get ready, I pull a new T-shirt over my head. When I hear keys unlocking the front door and think about how I'm going to sneak out with her home. "Isabel come help me with groceries!" My aunt's loud voice reaches all corners of the house making me quickly leave my room and do as I was told. Grabbing a white plastic bag from her hands. I go to the kitchen to put away the groceries. "So, what do you want for dinner?" She asked me as she entered the kitchen, her curly black hair in a silly looking bun, she was wearing a gray long sleeve shirt and black slacks. Biting my lips, I open the fridge, take out a bottle of water, and take a small sip. "Well, I'm going to cook pasta and chicken if you want to pull up a plate." She told me as she took out the chicken from the freezer. I shrugged at her and walked back to my room grabbing my phone from the dresser I lie down on my bed and go through my contacts desperately trying to finding Jacksons name. I send a text and wait for five minutes for a reply, than ten minutes, and finally twenty minutes without a reply from Jackson. I put my phone down and close my eyes waiting for time to pass. Soon I fell my phone vibrations next my arm. I opened my eyes and see that I got a text from Symphonie. Opening it I read, "Open your window, I'm here early." shaking my head about all the wrong choices I know im about to make. I walk towards my bedroom window and see Symphonie standing beside her truck she was wearing a white tank top that almost reached her belly button and high wasted black shorts with her cute lavender sneakers. Her blonde hair, dancing in the night breeze, as I watched her blow pink bubblegum through her teeth. Turning back to my room I gingerly open my bedroom door. Peeking out into the hallway, I notice all the lights aside from the kitchen and my aunt's bedroom were turned off. Back in my room I quietly get dressed in a tank top and oversized sweater. Sliding into my black ripped tight jeans, I grab my dirty vans. My heart is racing as I take my brush off my dresser and brush through my hair, making sure my bangs framed my face. I apply some new eyeliner to my already dark eyes. Pushing my hair to one side by side and think to myself, this is the best it's going to get. I feel my phone vibrate. I retrieve it hopeful of Jackson but I see another text from Symphonie, "Come on I'm getting tired of waiting!" followed by an angry Emoji face. A small Giggle escaped my mouth as I shut my phone off. Opening my window I climb out on my hands and knees and shimmy down the drain pipe. "Way to go," Symphonie whispers as she looks at me with a Chestier Cat grin. We get in her truck and she drives quickly from my house.

Feeling apprehensive I ask where the party is, Symphonie answers with "Miranda's house" even though I have a weird feeling about Miranda I shrug it off and say "Alright cool," as I roll down the car window to let the cool breeze roll against my face. As a stick my hand out the window I feel the bitter wind slip through my fingers. The streetlights guide us on our way to the medium-sized house filled with people pouring from it in every direction. "You ready for a wicked night?" Symphonie pops out of the truck and shuts the door. Hurrying into the yard as her outfit gets looks from boys standing out on the lawn. Looking in the passenger mirror, I brush my hair nervously to one side and hop out of the truck quickly following in Symphonies footsteps. She opened the door to the house. We we're greeted with loud guitar chords and soft melancholy voices singing. Walking in Symphonie was the light that gathered everyone's attention, I was always her shadow. Miranda was on backup vocals in the band that was playing. Her black haired fell in waves on her caramel skin. Her red lips left everyone breathless. The people in the living room begin to nod their heads and swing side to side with the beat of the song. The music spread around the room in nothing but magical vibes that seemed to touch everyone's soul. Making people feel connected with each other. I close my eyes and let my body feel the music as it sung, You promised you would take me to the other side/ where the monsters come to play/ and we could all together hide/ so tell me why I'm alone/ don't keep me waiting / baby/ you're the only one who can fix this mess we're creating. The music sung loudly into everyone's hearts. I felt the presence of someone watching me. I opened my eyes to see a couple kissing each other against a wall. I turn in a different direction and to my surprise see Jackson looking at the ground impulsively; I guess that's why he didn't text me back, he was here. I move through the crowd of dancing bodies. It felt like ages but I finally made it to where Jackson once stood. I spot him again this time walking towards the door. I continue to speed walk towards him, but loss him once again. I open the door and walk into the cold night, shivering, I see Jackson walking in the street. What's wrong with him? I thought, my hands around my mouth yelled at him to answer me. He stopped walking and looked around. I get to the front edge of Miranda's lawn. I still felt that odd presence of eyes over me. Jackson was wearing a black shirt and some jeans. His eyes were bloodshot with dark circles around them, his skin looked pale, and if I squinted my eyes I could see the blue veins under his skin. I looked into his face, it devoid any emotion. I asked him my voice straining with concern and out of breath from running what was wrong and if he needed to talk. "He shook his head and wiped his nose. Started to walk away from me I grabbed his arm his skin was cold to the touch, but it was freezing out here. Every time I talked, a small white cloud of freezing air escaped with my words. "Hey!" I shouted "I'm not letting go of this arm until I get a response from you" I say firmly. Jackson was in dramatic tears but shouts back at me, "You can't lie to me, you were just like the rest of them, always lying, always keeping secrets, and to think I thought you guys pretended to care about me, you don't know anything." Tears streaming down my face from frustration and confusion. Our entire lives we have worked so hard to keep feelings in neat little boxes but we were only fooling ourselves, only hurting ourselves. Now we are all falling apart, slipping away from one another. We have been so close to the edge for so long that we didn't realize we lost it all a long time ago. A brief pain keeps me grounded as I search for the words to speak that might bring my best friend back to his senses. That's not true, you know Symphonie and I would do anything for you." he cuts me off before I can finish my long speech I had mentally prepared in hope to heal him. "If that we're true you would have seen the pain I was going through every day but you guys didn't. You were just too absorbed in your own lives, well now I'm done." Every word cut me like a dull knife. I was left speechless. Shaking my head Jackson storms away from me. Not giving up on my best friend I start to run after him. We have been together for so many years, why must this be the end. I yell after Jackson to wait, but he keeps getting further away as I felt arms sneaking around my waist, I let out a shriek of fear looking down too see pale arms covered in tattoos. "Darling, it's just me." Fire whispers in my ear holding me back from chasing after my best friend.

Chapter 5

Struggling to escape his grasp I try to move his arms away from my waist. He wouldn't release. His arms felt like a statue made of hard marble. Silently crying I look up at Fire. "Why did he make you cry" Fire asked. Slowly moving his arms from my waist touching my face gently. "Are you crazy?" I yell in his face, pushing him away. "Jackson needs my help right now you're the only person standing in my way." I move away from him and wipe the tears from my face. "You can't be serious Isabel, he doesn't care about you and he's a fool for thinking the way he does. You can't help everyone, no matter how much you want to." Fire told me as he clenches his jaw in anger. "You don't know him he just needs someone to talk to. He just has a lot of stress right now. We are all just stressed out teenagers and life is really rough." I scream into his perfect face. I've stopped crying my sadness quickly replaced with anger directed towards this handsome being.

I push past Fire walking quickly towards the house to go on a search for Symphonie; I know she will want to find Jackson. We have all been through so much it can't end like this. I'm sick of this party I thought to myself as I reentered the house. I just lost my best friend and an overprotective guy I just met was getting into every aspect of my life and on my last nerve. The boom of the bass speakers made me scrunching my face in frustration and discussed as I entered the house. I tried to block out the noise, looking around the living room until I see the familiar blonde haired girl dancing with a guy wearing a deep blue beanie. Moving my way through the sweaty bodies. I touch Symphonies arm, she turns towards me and smiled for a brief moment until she sees my serious expression. The boy with the beanie kisses Symphonie's neck and whispers something into her ear. Then looking at me, he pulls something out of his pocket and hands it to Symphonie and walks away.

Symphonie hands me a white pill laughing hysterically. Looking at the small pill in my hand I frown and ask her what it is. "Magic beans, to go to Wonderland!" Symphonie tells me as she starts giggling hysterically again looking closer at me. I see that her eyes are dilated I couldn't even see the astonishing light brown of her normal eyes. Trying to tell her about Jackson would be a waste of time and just annoy and upset me. She is wasted and high but at least she's happy. Jackson probably needs a night to cool off and I rather be in wonderland like Symphonie. The feeling of angry overwhelms me and in one motion without thought the pill are in my mouth and gone with no water. Nothing happened at first but after a while I felt light headed. I start laughing for no reason at all. Then a feeling of wanting to fly overcomes me as I run up the stairs, opening a door to a room with a bed and big windows leading to the roof. I shut the door so the music from downstairs drowns out. I open the big window placing my hand on the ledge and breaths in the cold frigid air. I look up to see the moon in the sky. Howling at the moon I scream at the top of my lungs. I swing my legs over the ledge of the window and climbed out into the cold night air. I walked east toward the moon. I want to touch the moon, I thought. "What are you doing?" an angry raspy voice yells to me making my stumble back in fear. I turn my head to look at him, starting to laugh at his face that was scowling at me. Putting his tattooed arms out at me like he also wanted to touch the moon. "I was trying to touch the moon silly but my arms aren't long enough." I replied to him. Looking down at my short arms laughing again. I felt the cool breeze caress my face. "Come on Isabel it's not safe up here lets go back downstairs." His words sound funny. I gave him a lazy smile. "No!" I demanded," I'm going to touch the moon, it's okay, I have wings, and I can fly" I stumbled through my words as I push up the sleeves of my sweater and sprawl out my arms. I take a step back. Felling the night breeze through my hair. When I looked back I saw Fire's face next to mine. "I didn't know you could fly to silly." I mumble under my breath, drowsy sounding. He looks down at me his eyes completely white. Then everything ended.

The names where change but this story holds true. Like many other teenagers, my Cousin 'Isabel' lived through all of this and so much more. This was basically a normal week from what I heard her and my mother yelling about the summer she came to live with us. When I was growing up I used to think my cousin with the most amazing person in the world because of all the things she survived. It wasn't until I was a teenager and faced some of these problems myself did I understand. She is actually just facing life as some teens do. She fought with Depression and was on medication for Schizophrenia the better years of her young life. The character 'Fire' in this story was just a person my cousins disease made her believe in. 'Isabel' had many broken bones but the drug she had taken that night made her relaxed enough that she didn't get seriously hurt. As for 'Jackson and Symphonie', 'Jackson' ran away that night and is still MIA today and 'Symphonie' is a recovering drug abuser with 2 kids that 'Isabel' has helped rise. This story is to shine light on some of the real world things teenagers can go through. Remember, the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence, and we are all just a bunch of humans trying to get through life with as little pain as possible.


End file.
